”Let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.” - James 5:12.
Many of us struggle saying “no.” We’ve been taught saying no means we’re difficult, dramatic, or not resilient.
Our enslaved ancestors weren’t allowed to say “no” to anti-Blackness. But they developed strategies to revolt in their own way.
For many, this meant finding ways to secretly say “yes” to joy. In this way embodying joy became a liberation practice.
Beloved LGBTQIA+ writer Audre Lorde was fascinated by the erotic. Lorde understood the erotic goes deeper than engaging in sexual intimacy.
The erotic is about embodying joy and pleasure, and releasing shame. Lorde believed that our “yes” should root us in pleasure and joy. If it doesn’t, that's when we say “no.”
When was the last time you said “yes” to something? How’d this “yes” feel in your body?
Did it feel tingly, warm, and exciting? Or did it bring on anxiety or fear?
We’ve been taught to fear our “yes.” Our “yes” is our superpower. Whatever we say “yes” to should make us feel free, respected, empowered, and safe in our bodies.
We’re also allowed to change our minds at any time. Saying “no” creates abundant space for the sacred, orgasmic yes. Praise the Lorde.
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