How To Navigate Collective Grief Over Cop Killings

Sonya Massey is just one of the many Black women taken out by white terrorism. As usual, we hear talk of forgiveness. Forgiveness is supposed to be powerful. But what if the offending party doesn’t change their behavior or continues to harm us? 

When white terrorism steals Black lives, we often choose to forgive. Yet these acts of forgiveness haven’t decreased the violence against us - it continues to climb. That reveals a key point about forgiveness.

Talk of forgiveness this early after Massey’s death feels immediate, and immediate forgiveness puts the emotional labor AND the harm on us because our lives aren’t respected. There’s another take on forgiveness for us to consider while feeling upset and tired of the terrorism. 

Mindful self-compassion means we make space for the emotions we feel and honor that others likely feel the same. We don’t have to extend grace to anyone we choose not to. We use the emotions we’re feeling right now to heal ourselves. 

Casting forgiveness as reconciliation or as a virtue is anti-Blackness hard at work. When we are harmed our first order of business is caring for ourselves. Close your eyes. Breathe deeply. Offer yourself words of love and awareness and let them fill your heart. You are worthy and the gift of your compassion belongs to you.

We have a quick favor to ask...

We hope you're enjoying PushBlack Spirit! Spreading the truth about Black spiritual practices and history is just as important to you as it is to us.

And as a small non-profit, we need your support to keep spreading these important stories.

With as little as $5 a month, you will support our tech and writing costs, so we can reach even more people like you. It only takes a minue, so will you please donate now?