How This Love Language Makes Us All Stronger

“Abolition,” or the modern movement to dismantle prisons and policing, invites us to knock down the systems that hurt us and build something better. But it also exposes how WE are often violent and police each other – and how we can love each other BETTER. Here are three ideas.

#1: Practice loving accountability

If someone you love hurts you, or vice versa, don’t just throw them away. We all deserve the chance to learn accountability: true self-reflection, making genuine apologies and amends, and positive behavior changes. 

#2: Don’t be a tyrant to children 

From whooping to forced hugs, society teaches us that children don’t have rights, aren’t allowed to set their own boundaries, and that love comes with violence. But we can learn from kids and teach them to communicate their needs.

#3: Open up the nuclear family

An abolitionist family doesn’t have to be “wife, husband, child, pet.” Many happy families are single-parent or LGBTQ. We can also show up for each other through “chosen” family, and that’s just as important, whether that be through mutual aid or kinship adoptions.

When we have strong communities based on abolishing holding grudges and judging each other, we create a love so liberating that we cannot help but thrive. What could the world be like if our love language was abolition?